Thanks, Marie!

I went to a memorial service this morning for Marie Baugh. She died January 16, at age 83.

I didn't know Marie well, but she was a good friend of Mom and Dad's and that was enough for me. I knew I needed to go and add to the number who would be there. The mass of people often speak comfort to those who are bereaved, something I learned long ago.

The last time I talked with Marie was shortly after Mom died (February 2003). Marie had taken over Mom's job of handling some of the money for their Sunday school class or something similar. She had received notification that a check had been deposited into their account, made out to Helen Hawkins, as some sort of teacher's retirement payment.

Well, Mom was never a teacher, so I was pretty sure it wasn't hers. I investigated it and eventually learned that it resulted from Wells Fargo's attempt to deposit the check to the account of, it seemed, any Helen Hawkins. They got it wrong, of course, depriving the real Helen Hawkins recipient the benefit of her monthly check. The people at the bank told me what to do, and I relayed the information to Marie. The check was for $1,800 +, so it wasn't a really small thing. I assume it eventually got straightened out and the intended Helen Hawkins was finally able to buy food for the month.

Marie was one of Dad's prayer partners for quite a number of years. I wonder of Marie's family is going to find lots and lots of prayer lists and journals as they clean out her household, and I wonder if they'll go through the same thought process I did - what to do with all this information. I decided to shred Dad's notes, and it took at least an afternoon even with my super-dooper shredding machine.

Marie's kids and grand kids will miss her terribly. She was a devoted mother as well as a spiritual leader and prayer warrior for so many. I will miss knowing she's there because her passing is another reminder that time is moving on.

The last memorial service I went to at The Well (The First Baptist Church of Poway - FBC for short, for me) was for Frank Self, a beloved and very close friend of Mom and Dad's. Frank died just a few months after Mom did in 2003. Frank had Parkinson's, and it was merciless. His mind was clear and active and his body became essentially non-functioning a few years before he died. Being so soon after Mom's funeral, and knowing Frank's condition and how close he and Dolores and my mom and dad had been, I grieved Frank (with some relief that his suffering was over) almost as though he were part of my family. He was certainly a major part of my family's history. When Dad died in 1997, Frank layed a rose inside his coffin. A few months later, he did the same for Den. Even then, Frank wasn't walking well and needed help. He stole a piece of my heart forever when he did that.

It was different with Marie's memorial service. During the service, I journeyed back in my mind to those years and all these wonderful people who ran around with my folks at the FBC. They were all amazing people, each one reaching out to love everyone around them, and I began to appreciate them in a new way.

Marie's family put on a wonderful celebration of her life, interrupted with breakdowns and many tears, but always bordering on another funny or inspirational story they could tell about their mother and grandmother. A thought came to me that Marie's life was doing one more ministry during the service - she was showing me - and others like me - how to do it, how to be the age I am now and how get to her age. I have been aware for some time that the rules are different now for me than they were when I was younger, but Marie's memorial service and the remembrances of her life gave me greater clarity.

So, in the end, as I watch the passing of my mom and dad's contemporaries, their gang, I have to say thank you to each of them for going before me and showing me the way. God bless you all ... and the thing is, I know He already has!